Stomach bug = gassed

First of all, I would like to say to whomever found my blog by Googling “totally awesome clumsyninja”:

Dear sir or madam, you have absolutely come to the right place. My clumsy ninja-ing is pretty awesome; if you hang around long enough you’ll undoubtedly witness me trip over my own feet at class and faceplant into a wall or a large piece of furniture! (This may or may not have already happened to me.)

Class

Wednesday’s class was small, but I was really glad to be back. Been off the mats for about two weeks—one of my best friends has been in and out of the hospital and I’ve been helping take care of her. On top of that, I’ve been moving and am starting a new job soon. Have been fighting exhaustion and minor nausea for the last few days, which are probably due partly to the aforementioned stressors and partly to my propensity for sudden random stomach bugs.

Jonathan was gone, so a blue belt named Matt taught the class. I don’t know his last name, but he said he’d trained with Rigan Machado and has been out for about ten years. He went through a few drills and techniques quickly, and then we rolled.

Rolling

Only rolled twice, both times with Matt. Gassed both times by the end. I’d gotten tired pretty quickly during drills and techniques and was feeling queasy again, which didn’t help.

Despite that, the actual rolls went pretty well. Spent too much energy defending the first roll; at one point, he told me to slow down and just hold him there, because fighting the weight difference was clearly tiring me. Relaxed a bit after that. I had fun—did a lot of hooking and spinning and escaping.

Afterward, he said I’m hard to pin down, have a great guard game (“knees sneaking in everywhere”), and look like I have a judo background. My knowledge of Japanese jujitsu isn’t that extensive and I haven’t used it much in BJJ, but that was nice to hear.

It feels like I’ve been rolling better lately. The last three times I’ve rolled, I’ve experienced a few moments of flow state. That doesn’t necessarily mean I know what I’m doing or have all the basic techniques down, but I’m able to react without panicking (much), move instinctively, and try new things. I’m having more fun.

Confused and forgetful

I’ve been away from BJJ for a month, due to family stuff, a vacation, and a cold. Went back this week starting on Tuesday. I’m so rusty—if it’s even possible to be rusty when you barely know anything.

We went over pretty much the same stuff in both Tuesday and Wednesday’s class. So I’m not sure why I can’t remember much. I’ve seriously got to start bringing a notebook. (Being a perfectionist and a geek, I’ll likely go to at least three stores looking for the perfect tiny notebook that has a slot for a pen and maybe also a screwdriver or something, because one day I might need a screwdriver on the mats, you never know.)

We did some work from guard:

Prayer hands
Uke’s in your guard with hands posted on your hips. Bring your hands under them into a prayer position (I mean, I don’t pray like that, but whatevs, I’ll remember the term). Extend with your legs and break uke’s grip with your hands.

Elbow grip
Uke’s in your guard. Cup uke’s elbows from the outside and rip outward.

Pistol grip
Use your left thumb to hook uke’s right sleeve up. Pistol grip the sleeve with your right hand; slide left hand under uke’s wrist to grasp your own wrist. Pull back with arms and your legs (core muscles), letting go with your left hand to wrap uke’s arm and grab their left lapel (keep your left elbow pinned to your side). Feed the lapel with your free hand.

“Combat stance” guard pass to side control
You’re in uke’s guard. While maintaining your base and posture as much as you can, rock a little (optional) and get one knee on the ground right behind a glut. Slide your other knee back and turn sideways, using your hips, to break the guard. Immediately move the first knee up and position your leg vertically, perpendicular to uke’s leg, and slide the other knee up a bit (Jonathan calls this combat stance). Underhook uke’s near shoulder and keep pressure on him with your shoulder. Put your first knee to the ground (keeping pressure on his leg with your foot). Swing your free leg around, post your free hand at his hip, and transition into side control.

Cartwheel variation (?)
After the guard break above, get your underhook and shoulder pressure going, then kind of cartwheel your legs up and over. Switch into scarf hold. (I’m probably remembering this wrong.)

Leg variation
After the guard break, bring both hands behind their legs and sort of stack them with their legs in the air, sprawling out with your weight on them. Slowly work your legs around and move your head to let their legs drop, then transition into side control.

Worked some butterfly guard too:

Butterfly to side control
Underhook uke’s arm and trap their other arm. Roll onto your side (the side that’s trapping their arm), using your hooks to help get uke over. Switch into side control.

Butterfly sweep to side control
Straighten one leg and slide your arm through the hole that created; hook under uke’s shin with your hand. Roll over onto your side (the side that’s underhooking—keep your hand flat) and use your hand and foot to sweep.

Variation:
If uke posts an arm to stop your sweep, use that (and your hooks) to roll them over in the other direction.

On both days we did kimura and armbar drills. Wednesday night about ten kids came in—probably hanging around the church facility we use—and watched the warm-up and drills. They snickered when my partner hit me in the face with a leg during the armbar drill, and then they left.

Rolls on Tuesday:
I rolled with Blake and Chris. When rolling, Blake is constantly moving and mentioning things I should be seeing. He’ll let me try stuff, but if I don’t have the right technique he’ll pull out. I don’t remember if anything I did worked; mostly I was fighting futilely for an armbar as it was the only thing I could think of at that point.

Afterward, he said my game at this point should be shrimping out and getting to guard. No need to fight for arms or position; focus on guard. Drill the triangle, too. Experienced peoples, your opinion, por favor?

Can’t remember much about my roll with Chris. I do remember an unsuccessful cross-choke. The next day he mentioned it to Jonathan and said I’d almost gotten him with it. Hmm.

Rolls on Wednesday:
Rolled with Chris again. I remembered what Blake said yesterday and managed to shrimp out and recompose guard at one point. I’m not good at estimating weight—the other day I found out that both Steven and Jonathan are ~150 pounds, so I’ll compare everyone else to them in the future—but at one point Chris had all his weight on me while simultaneously doing an armlock, and I could not breathe or shrimp. I tapped (both to the armlock and the weight) just before things went black. Dangit.

We restarted and then he accidentally smashed his forearm into my throat, right on my jaw. I’ve got to boil my mouthguard and take it to class; if I hadn’t been clenching my teeth for protection, might’ve bit my tongue.

Rolled with Steven. He reminded me to upa. I remember that the roll was educational, as it usually is with him, but don’t recall any details.

Jonathan rolled with me several times and walked me through a lot of stuff. I remember an omoplata. Also did a successful upa into side control, and then he let me have an armlock. He says I’m a fast learner. Learning’s not usually the problem; retaining, recalling, and executing a technique is where I have trouble.

In conclusion: I’m glad to be back at BJJ, if still confused and forgetful as ever, and I am sore all over. Can’t wait for next week!